the nerdy

TEAMMATES

The battle of the brains has end. Many tried to join. But only few succeed. We, our team are one of the hundredths of participants who dream, believe, and luckily survive in this brain-draining contest.

As a part of the event, I feel so useless to my teammates. Like a heavy bull that they carry on their backs & a thorn that blackens their way. I feel that I am a worthless human creature who ever lived on Earth.

They can win even w/o me, because actually I haven’t got any contribution for the team. We won because of their unreachable light of knowledge and intelligence and also their super high perseverance in winning that really lead them to success...And I?? I?  I...well, I got nothing...nothing to share… uhm… only a cheer, a yes (to agree w/ their answers) and a prayer.

For me, the prize that I get is a shaggy dog story type. I got it by doing nothing… I tried to squeezzzee my head so hard to pour a droplet of answer from the millions of questions given, but it failed me.

"I am" a disgrace to my to my teammates.

            I want to.... to.... to...to cry… cry so hard... hard enough to free the emotions that’s inside me. The failure I got; the shame that bugs me. And the guilt that keeps annoying me until now. All of this is still battling inside me. And I don’t know what kind of emotion my face will showcase...

Even though my teammate always telling me that I shouldn’t look the situation that way.... well. I just cant...why?? It is because even them cannot allude to any example I contributed to the team. It upsets me, but...that’s the reality...

estado ng buhay..

s kaibigan q n ngbigay ng inspirasyon skn pra icompose e2ng blog n e2..mrming slamt..nkita q lahat ng gnwa mong blog at naantig aq dun kht n mtgl m ng npost un...

s mga oras n e2..gsto kong umiyak..ilabas qng ano ang nsa loob q..qng ano ang nararamdaman q s mga oras n e2..mga bagay n gstong sbhn..at mga bgay n gstong gwin ngunit s panaginip q lng magagawa...mga taong gstong mkita at mga bagay n gstong takasan..

s panahon ngaun..hnd lmang ang mundo ng mga pnkamodernong teknolohiya ang nabubuo o ngbabago..meron dng mapapansing malaking pagbabago s mga kabataan n ka2lad q..s pisikal n anyo..s kilos at s emosyong pinapakita ng bawat kabataan n nabubuhay s panahon n e2..

mrming pagbabago ang ngyayari..s larangan n tntwag ntng "pag-ibig" at s larangan ng pagpapakita s isang tao n mhal m nga xa o kila2ng kilala ntn bilag "panliligaw"...qng ang dati'y nakakalanggam n sulat ang natatanggap ng mga kababaihan..ngayoy napalitan n ng paulit-ulit n forwarded love quotes..qng ang dtiy harana..ngayoy casette at cd's n kalakip ang mga paboritong kanta ng babae ay aus n..qng ang dati'y lalaki lng ang nanliligaw..ngaun?dhil uso..babae n...qng ang datiy kelangn buong angkan muna ng babae ang paglingkuran m bgo m mapasagot ang babaeng ninanais m...nagyon?MRT express n...pagkaligaw plng..qng type m..sgot n agad..

sa breakups...qng iniwan k ng mhal m at pingpalit k s iba...naku..aawayin ung bago..ccraan..ggwin ang lht pra lng mabalik ung lalaki..khit n mtgl ng nghwalay...at kht n ung babae ang my kasalanan..o vice versa.

pero e2 nmn ang pinkabago..ang pagpapalit agad ng kasintahan/aswa/karelasyon o ano man ang twag mo..pra k lmng ngpplit ng underwear arw2...gnun kadali sknla..smantalang s iba'y dekada n ang lumipas s kkhintay ng prince charming e wla prn dmarating..

ngunit meron prn mga dhilan ng pghihiwalay n hndi mgbabago kht ilang daang taon man ang lumipas...

pagpapalit s ibang babae/lalaki at ang katayuan o estado nla s buhay..mayaman ang lalaki at mhrap ang babae o vice versa..nakakalungkot mang icpn..mrmi prng biktima s gntong kalagayan...ngmamahal ng 2nay ang 2...pero dhil s hangad ng mga magulang n d mapawara ang buhay ng anak..pinapakasal s mayaman dn..

hndi rn ntn macc ang mga mglang ng mga taong ito..pero bkit hndi muna nla kilalanin ang mga taong minamaliiit nla..malai ntn matiyaga xa at gngwa lht ng knyang mkakaya pra lmng umangat ang buhay nito...cnu b nmn kc s atin ang ayaw umngat ang buhay aber?

are we friends or are we not..you told me once but i had forgot..

friends...friend...friendship.....friends...friend...friendship...

ei wat is the real meaning of friendship?and hu are those pipz that i can col my real friends??

still a puzzle in my mind..

there are lots of them claiming that they are the one...but as tym pass..when theres no communication or what..the friendship they had before is lost..backstabbers, snobs, plastics will be present..*awts*...matamaan kau..wahaha..la lng..

he's going to leave me sooner or later

ilang oras nlng ang hhntayin..

ilang oras nlng n mkktx, mkakausap q xa..

nkakalungkot mang icpin..pero..e2 n nga..aalis na xa..hnding hindi n mapipigilan

mag-aaral nxa sa not so far away country..pewo..xmpre..mahirap n magkaroon ng communication s knya..malabong malabo..

ang gagawin q?well obviously, maghhntay..hhntayin ang muli nyang pagbalik..ang una naming pagkikita in person...hhntayin n tuparin ang pangako nya..

sa ngaun..hhmm...magpapakadalubahasa muna q..*naks..malalim n word un a*..mag-aaral ng mabuti..

waa..ilang oras nlng tlga ang hihintyin..ang skit..

*pag nabsa ito nla kuya magrereact nnmn cla..jeje*

super nadevelop ako sknya..s tgl b naman namin..

haiz...john karl cruz anderson...wow..tlgang binuo e...hhmm..cya..haiz la akong masabi...ggrr...ingat po plgi...un lng...luvyah..!!

=)

magpakasaya khit n may problema...

tgal nrin nung last n pagpost ko ng blog....

pagpasok plang ng bagong taon...lots of problems,and trials na agad..

mraming nwala.....uhm..well not totally nwala..nalessen lang ung pgsa2ma nmin...<maouch k raevee..!!>ung saintdevils din....mron ding nadagdag...<lendl!!!!!!secretmates!!!>ung tararat babeS!!!!!!!gogo girls!!!!!!!....and KARL<wee...>

hhmm...last February 22 was our prom..well,i know that, the nyt shud be enjoyed by the juniors nd seniors....well,,as usual..dq naenjoi..for me..mas mgnda nlng magstay sa haws...matulog o kya magbasa ng books...magtx,kumain,mkinig ng music..because the nyt is so boring, nd nka2inis.....haiz...

nu p b isshare ko?...hhmm..ai..hmm..now n ngpagupit nq..well..xmpre new hairstyle,it just mean that bgong buhai..haha...kasi..last year,ngfo2cus aq sa mga school activities..so ngaun..<studies>pro..unti2 lng..wag bglaan...bka dq mkayanan..haha..

hai nq..dq pinaghandaan 2ng blog ko...haha..feel k lang kasing mgtype...geh..vavush!!!!!

kung gusto mong umiyak dhil sa mga problema..umiyak ka...wag mong pgilang tumulo ang luha sa mga mata mo...dahil mas mabigat sa loob kong di mo ilalabas...

        matatapos na nmn ang taong ito... another year will come.. Pero this year 2006, marami akong mga bagay2 na naranasan, at tiyak ko na di ko makakalimutan...uhm marami rin akong mga kakaibang karanasan fro the past few years na nabubuhay ako d2 sa Earth,..pero itong taon na ito ang kakaiba sa lhat..

        ive experience or done a lot of things,....marami na ring ngchange skin...tumaas ung self esteem q......

       sa taon na ito naipakita ko sa mga pipol na ive got talents..<haha..kpal...>..khit sa isang mumunting paraan lang naipkita ko, like joining school activities and programs, clubs, competitions.

        Grabeh rin ang taon na ito,, kasi ive gained lots of new friends..as in sankaterba....wahaha..well nakita ko din sa mga friends ko kung sinu sknila ung true and qng cnu ang plastic...

        Ei DALTON(almost..haha..), SECRETMATES(raevee,dace& ira) at TROPANG KABABUYAN(steffi,micah,flerida,kim,mich,tin,ressa) maraming salamat sa lahat, well i hope our friendships will last forever<drama>.......SD<saint devils>same din sa inyo..

         Gusto kong ishare sa inyo lhat ng mga nging experience ko this year 2006....natuto akong magmahal ng sobra, well lam ko bata pa ako para sa ganun...pero ok na rin..for the risk of experience..wahaha...natuto rin akong masaktan dhil sa pag-ibig(rejection from my crush)..jeje..(*OUCH*)..nagpakatanga rin ako, nagpraya sa kanya kahit di mo nmn reason nya, manakit ng isang tao para lang makaganti sa pananakit nya sa feelings ko, manira sa taong gusto nya,..lahat un...<im sorry..>...masakit mang isipin at balika ang mga panahon na un na nagcreate ng sugat na naging scar......a scar that i will carry throughout the years..uhm.,pero di nmn puro rejection, heartaches naranasan ko e...naranasan ko ding magustuhan ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko..

        malaki din talaga ang pagbabago ng ugali ko this year, parang mas naging matapobre, emotional, sakiti,mas naging pasaway, masamang anak sa magulang,ms naging maarte..haha..

         malaki din pasasalamat ko kay GOD...kahit na marami akong mga quizzes n mababa sa mga subj ko specially science nmin...<oops..may fon call ako..w8 lang....>waaa...atska kahit nagklakaroon kami lagi ng financial problems, alitan, pagkabigo, calamities na ngyayari ngayon,..nagpapasalamat pa rin ako kay God dahil, He never leave us alone in times we are having difficulties in lyf........AT DAHIL SAKANYA WE ARE STILL LIVING TO THE NEXT LEVEL>...wahaha...

>>i want to say samething to this ff people<<

mama at papa...sori po qng masyado akong palasagot.. at tumatakas pag inuutusan..wahaha..uhm d po aq magppromise bt ttry q pong bawasan bad attitudes ko..uhm gusto ko rin pong magpasalamat sa lahat ng binigay nyu po..kung akala nyu na hindi q naapreciate un..hmm..ngkakamali po kayo..tnx po tlga..mwa...labyah..

SA MGA KUYA AT ATE AT SA KAPATID KO...ingat po kayo palagi..ingatan nyu po sarili nyu..tnx po sa lhat...atska stay sweet and smile often..labyah..

FRIENDS AND CLASSMATES.......tnx sa inyo..you really rock my world...jeje..ingat po kau parati and Godbless...

especial mention lang po...

Marlon..sori and tnx...

Yves Ellorin-tol!!!!ingat po...

MARK MONTEMAYOR-hmmm...tnx for stepping into my lyf and being a part of it....

SORRY AND TNX FOR EVRYTHING!!!!!!!!the laughters we had!!!the secrets we've shared and keep!!!!tnx tlaga...mwa!!lavyah ol!!!!!....sa lahat ng friends ko...i hope and wish na ul stay the way u are....<DRAMA effect pa aq..haha>

MULTO SA KALAWAKAN

IF ONLY

(heartbreaker)

I have thought and imagined it for a lot of time
Hoping to solve this very hard problem and rhyme
Always, but most of the time you are in my mind.
I pray and hope for you to be mine.

If only you could hear me outcry and shout your name
If only you could hear my heart beating
Wishing and hoping that you love me
The way I want and prefer our love to be.

This is the start of the beggining of the end
It is just your love I only intent
I know, i understand you're not mine and never will be...
Oh how I wish, oh how I hope, IF ONLY....

a sad story from the aliens

here i am.. once again...but now im torn into pieces...

im trying to pretend that im fine by showing a sweet smile to everyone... because by smiling it will be more easier to tell the words that are unspoken..

but u know what...,it makes me more triste....

why is that i cant be a jovial persona de nuevo...

i want to cry..but no tears comming out...

i dont want to be patetico again...

i do wish that the memories fr the m¢as all¢a de poder,,,,,, collado...

hope u understand what im trying to contar(tell to) you...

haiz.. how i wish i cud be mr. bean....

even he got so many problems he easily find a way to solve it...

hai nq maxadong madrama... tama n nga.... pip pip pip!!!!!!

DAYANG DAYANG!!!!!!! GO SPAIN!!!! jeje...

(^-^)

here i am.. once again...but now im torn into pieces...

im trying to pretend that im fine by showing a sweet smile to everyone... because by smiling it will be more easier to tell the words that are unspoken..

but u know what...,it makes me more triste....

why is that i cant be a jovial persona de nuevo...

i want to cry..but no tears comming out...

i dont want to be patetico again...

i do wish that the memories fr the m¢as all¢a de poder,,,,,, collado...

hope u understand what im trying to contar(tell to) you...

haiz.. how i wish i cud be mr. bean....

even he got so many problems he easily find a way to solve it...

hai nq maxadong madrama... tama n nga.... pip pip pip!!!!!!

DAYANG DAYANG!!!!!!! GO SPAIN!!!! jeje...

(^-^)

ang duwag ay ang mga taong takot matalo.......

alam nyu ba n hindi lahat ng talunan ay duwag.....

oo nga na ang mga taong lumalayo sa mga away o mga pangyayari na magllead sknla ng kapahamakan ay tinatawag na sa word na "DUWAG" at binabansagan n clang TALO

pro d b nila alm ni hindi kaduwagan ang mga paglayo sa mga away.....at ang tawag dun ay katapangan.......

what if they are really afraid of what may happen to them, thier friends, families, etc.....

magulo man at d nyu man maintindhan....bsta ito mssabi ko.......

ang duwag ay ang mga taong takot matalo...............